today is johnry glen pontino's birthday, one of my kabarkada... tinext ko xa d other day pero ang sinabi nya lang "mahal naman gud ang bukas beth".. haha nanguripot lang jud xa in short! tapos nangutana ko kung naa pa bay mga gsm phones didto ana xa wala na daw di na daw na uso didto kay pinatyanay na daw ang uso karon sa ila in short barrio patay ilang lugar! hahahha

well, happy bertdei ulit jan.. i-update na imong multiply oi...

hahahaha super natawa talaga ako nung nakita ko ang situation sa basketball court ng oval plaza(gensan), ang mga nanonood halos mga girls, kasi may liga ng basketball efek dun then naglaro si gerald tsaka kapatid nya.. and ultimo mga kapwa nya players pinipicturan xa tapos habang break pa ang mga girls nagtatakbohan papunta ke gerald para lang makakiss.. hahahahahahaha wala lang natawa lang ako sa mga reaksyon ng crowd siguro kasi hindi naman ako avid fan nya.. hehehe pati tatay ko, ung commissioner ng game, pinapalapit ako ke gerald (bwahahahaha) para makita ko daw ng malapitan (ayoko nga! hahaha) wa intawon ko nahangol anang gerald na na! :)) LOL

haay nako super nakakairita talaga si jeriel

SUPER TALAGA!

nakita ko sya sa UBER kanina, pinakita yong grand reunion, lahat ng housemates, guardians and some family members yata ng housemates nandun din.. habang lahat sila naguusap-usap, tumatawa at kung anu-ano pa eh itong si JERIEL naman nagdadrama sa confession room, HMP! todo hagol-gol ang loka kasi daw sobrang saya nya na makapasok ulit sa bahay at makasama ang mga kapwa housemates nya.. eh heler! pwede naman nyang i-express ang kagalakan nya in some other ways na hindi maiirita sa kanya ang mga viewers... kakaloka talaga! and ito pa habang nagsswimming lahat ng housemates eh todo tili naman etong si jeriel (pa-ilang taga bukid!) seems like gusto nya nasa kanya lang ang attention ng camera.. wahahahaha

p.s. dai pagpauli na gani sa inyong bukid kay gapakaulaw ka lang da! LOL

please vote for ASTRID ADVIENNE MAY HERNANDEZ

http://getzmo.com/?option=com_content&task=view&id=1970

An Angel for a Friend

 

The clamorous rain, the hidden stars

The demon that flies around

The moonless sky, the night of fright

Not a soul that can be found.

 

But here I am amidst the darkness

Unwanted and alone

But I don’t care and they don’t, too

They know I’m on my own.

 

They say I’m heartless, they say I’m dull

They say I’m always wrong.

They think they can hurt me just anytime

They think that I am strong.

 

They just don’t understand me

They wouldn’t even try

All they could think of is hurting me

By spreading all those lies…

 

I’m useless here; so why bother?

When I can always die

People would laugh at that idea

No one would even cry.

 

But someone stopped me on my attempt

My cries were all in vain

“You shouldn’t die” he said to me

“For it wouldn’t stop the pain”

 

“Why?” I asked, crying so hard,

“When happiness I couldn’t find?

Not even once I have I ever tried,

To have some peace in my mind.

 

The world cares not for what I do

So why should you even care?

I am an outcast in the society

To befriend me, they wouldn’t dare

 

I am a burden to others

As I live my life everyday

The only solution to take this burden

Is for me to go away…

So don’t stop me now!” I pleaded hard

His shirt damp from my tears

He held me close while I poured out my emotions

That I felt for many years.

 

For countless seconds we stood still

He held me while I cried

He already seemed to understand

The emotions I kept inside.

 

I looked into the strangers eyes

My shame so clearly

How could I have just said those things?

To a stranger or so it seems.

 

I tried to move away from him

But he only pulled me back

“I’ll give you love” he said to me

“The love that you seem to lack.

 

Please understand my being here

Understand my concern for you

These emotions of mine are not lies

Because my love for you is true.”

 

“How could that be?” I asked him

Directly there and then

“You said your love for me is true

When you don’t know who I am.”

 

“I know you more than you think I do

Although I may seem like a passer-by.

I know how hurting there words can be

And how you tried so hard not to cry.

 

I know how you became an outcast

And when you felt like you don’t belong

I know how hard you scolded yourself

When you did what you thought was wrong.

 

I know that others make fun of you

And that you cry yourself to sleep

I know how many times you’ve hoped

That a friend you’ll someday meet.

 

 

I know that you say you’re worthless

And that you are always wrong

I know how hard you put up an act

And pretend that you are strong.

 

I know how many times you’ve wished

That you were never born

Never to show the hurt you feel

Was something that you have sworn.

 

I know everything about you

I know your fantasies

I know what you have pictured

Of what you thought was your destiny

 

But I’ll tell you now, I’ll tell you true

Just continue on your way

If you think that what you’re doing is right

Then ignore what others say.

 

They’re spreading lies all around

They are out to destroy you

Don’t waste your time and thoughts on them

You have better things to do.”

 

“You’re the only one who believes in me

And yet, you’re a stranger passing by

How do I know that all these things

Are true and aren’t lies?”

 

“Look into my eyes, they’ll tell you

That my love for you is true.

I could never tell you any lies

You know that I love you.”

 

Then I knew that I believed in him

And I wanted him to be my friend

Somehow I knew my heart has learned

To trust someone again.

 

He smiled at me and offered his hand

It seems he understands

“Do you trust me now?” he asked me then

“Do you trust me as friend?”

 

I was touched by his understanding

But I didn’t want to cry

I merely smiled back at him

My eyes gave my reply.

 

And so he became my companion

He was my only friend

But I know that our relationship

Was something that wouldn’t end.

 

He was the one who helped me find

The confidence that I have today

And he was the one who helped me

Make new friends each day.

 

I felt my life grow better

And I started to feel strong

I wanted to thank my first friend

But something seemed so wrong.

 

I couldn’t find him anywhere

I searched for many days.

I couldn’t find my first friend

He disappeared without a trace.

 

After a long time of searching

He finally came to me

The sadness in his gentle eyes

Was all that I could see

 

“What’s wrong?” I asked him

Although I already knew his reply

“It’s time for me to go”, he said

“It’s time to say goodbye.

 

They’re waiting for me and I have to go

But this I want to say

Wherever you are whatever you do

I’ll be with you everyday.

 

I’ll never let you out of my sight

I will always protect you

Please understand that leaving you

Is the last thing I would do.”

 

“But you can’t just leave!” I cried to him

“Letting you go is hard to do

After all those times we’ve gone through

I’ve fallen in love with you!

And what do you mean by protecting me?

How could you do that when you’re gone?”
”You don’t understand” he whispered softly

“My work in here is done.”

 

And then he disappeared without a trace

Nothing to remember him by

He came to see me before he left

But I wasn’t able to say goodbye.

 

And so my life went on as it is

But now surrounded with my friends

But one thing that my heart was wishing

And that was to see my friend again

 

He was the greatest gift that heaven sent

He was so good and kind

And, indeed, he was the greatest friend

The truest that I can find!

 

He accepted me for what I am

And not for how I look

He took away my devastation

And my heart with it he took.

 

But now he’s gone, I’m all alone

Friends to talk to but not confide

I love him so much, I want to cry

But I kept my tears inside.

 

For my tears could never bring him back

There’s no reason for me to cry

Cause even if I didn’t say the word

It was our final goodbye

 

One day in the library

While I studied the works of art

A picture that stood out from the rest

Caused the pain inside my heart

 

For my memories were starting to unfold

As I looked at the picture of my friend

He looked the same as ever before

And I longed to see him again.

 

His face was happy, but his eyes were sad

This I was able to see

“Why are you sad my friend?

Why are you sad like me?

 

Is it because you’re far away?

Is it because we’re far apart?

But wasn’t it you who left me alone?

Wasn’t it you who broke my heart?

 

I couldn’t stand the memories

But still, I read about my friend

It said that he was an angel

Whose love would never end.

 

But unlike the other angels

He had to earn his wings

He chooses the person he wants to guide

And happiness he surely brings.

 

He was a special angel

Indeed he truly was!

He was so different from the other angels

From the first until the last

 

He made everyone happy

All throughout the day

Cause in everything that he does

He did in a special way.

 

The silence in the library

Was unaffected by my cries

My silent cries of sadness

Caused by the memories I hold inside

 

I borrowed the book from the library

And quickly ran outside

I wanted to be alone that time

I really wanted to hide.

 

Am I the one my friend has chosen

For him to love and guide?

Am I the one he chose to protect

And forever stay by my side?

 

But why? I wondered to myself

Why an outcast like me?

An angel like him, so kind and special

Should never protect me.

“But I chose you”, a voice said suddenly

“You’re special in your own way

You’re different from the other people

Not like the ones that you see everyday.”

 

“Why would you care?” I cried to him

“You left me all alone!”

“That is not true”, he said to me

“You aren’t your own.

 

Cause even when my work was done

I had always protected you.

I am your angel, I am your guide

I, too, have fallen in love with you.”

 

“Are only saying that because

I’m the one you’re supposed to guide?

Do you really love me like you say you do? 

Is that what you feel inside?”

 

I got no answer in reply

So I turned away and cried

Suddenly I felt a familiar presence

Standing by my side

 

I didn’t want to turn around

Because I know that it was my friend

And I know that it would worsen the pain,

If I turn and see him again.

 

But he held me close to him and said

“Don’t reject me, I beg of you.

Do you know how hard it was for me

To love and yet leave you?

 

I had always loved you from the start

And it grew with each new day

I love you so much that it hurt me so

When I had to go away.”

 

The silence followed when I couldn’t speak

After hearing what he had said

I thought about our pain and grief

Because of what our love has led.

 

I thought about our happy times

Together, we were strong

Everything seemed so good that time

So what did we do wrong?

 

“Have you earned your wings?” I asked

He just smiled and said, “Take care.

I’ll always be around, protecting you

To leave you, I wouldn’t dare.”

 

I looked at him, my eyes so sad

“Is this our final goodbye?”

“This is goodbye, but not the final one

So I don’t want to see you cry.”

 

I smiled when ha said those words

My sadness had all but gone

My angel smiled and held me close

“My second work is done.”

 

And with that he disappeared

No tears and no goodbyes

I smiled and tried to hold my tears

Cause I promised not to cry.

 

I flipped the pages of the book

And began to read again

And then I turned the page to see

The picture of my friend

 

But when I saw the picture

It really surprised me so

That changes in the picture

Gave the answer that I wanted to know

 

The changes in the picture

Was truly a wonderful sight

My friend now has an angelic wing

And a halo shining bright.

 

But my friend was crying and it seems to me

That he wasn’t happy at all

“Why are you crying when you told me to stop?”

And a tear started to fall.

 

 

 

≈THE END≈

A Piece of Something

 

While I was walking, I stopped for a while and thought of things I don’t have. Then I realized that the happiest of all people don’t necessarily have the best of everything, they just make the most of everything that comes along their way. It’s true that we don’t know what we’ve got until we lose it, but it’s also true that we don’t know what we’re missing until it arrives.

                In the gateway of my heart I put a sign that says, “No Trespassing” but love came laughing and said, “I enter everywhere”. Love knows no reason. Love knows no lies. Love defies reasons, love has no eyes, but love is not blind. It sees but it doesn’t mind. Love is when you take away the feeling, the passion, the romance and you find you still care for the person. Love is supposed to be the most wonderful feelings. It should aspire you and give you joy and strength. But sometimes the things that give you joy can also hurt you in the end. It starts with a smile, develops with a kiss, and ends with a tear.
               
                When you love, you must not expect anything in return. If you do, you’re not loving but investigating. If you love; you must prepare to accept pain. For if you accept happiness you’re not loving but using. Don’t go for looks. It can deceive: don’t go for wealth, even that fades away: go for someone who makes you smile, make a dark day seem bright.

                The beginning of love is to let those we love be perfectly themselves, and not twist them to fit our own image otherwise we love only the reflections of ourselves we find in them. Never impress someone for the rest of your life.

                A sad thing about life is that you meet someone who means a lot to you only to find out in the end that it was never bound to be, and you just have to let him go. Maybe God wants us to meet a few wrong people before meeting the right one so that when we finally meet the right person, we should know how to be grateful for the gift. We oftentimes don’t see the reason why we don’t always get what we want, but in the end of it all, we realize that what we wanted wasn’t meant for us, after all, everything happens for a reason. When you feel down because you didn’t get what you wanted, just sit tight and be happy because God is thinking of something better for you.

                It hurts to love someone and not loved in return, but what is the most painful is to love someone and never find the courage to let that person know how you feel. It’s always better to have found the courage in love even if you lose it in the end rather than never finding love because you were too afraid to face its challenge. The greatest regrets in our lives are the risks we didn’t take. If you think something will make you happy, go for it. Remember that you only pass this way once.

                Love no matter how hard you find it, it won’t… No matter how hard you try, you won’t get it. But when you’re about to give up, it comes. Sometimes the love we are looking for is right in front of us—too close for the eyes to see. So close, your eyes and heart see it self. There are things you love to hear but you can never hear it from a person who says it with his heart. Just because someone doesn’t love you the way you want him or her doesn’t mean that they don’t love you with all that they have. There are so many stars in the sky, only some are radiant to be noticed. Among those you choose to ignore is the one, which is willing to shine for you forever even if your glance remains elsewhere.

                God never closes a door without opening a window. He always gives something better when He takes something away. Heartbreaks will last as long as you want and cut deep as you allow them to go. Challenge is not how to survive heartbreaks but to learn from them. In relationship, thank God you’re hurting or crying. There you are given a chance to measure the importance of the person because you experienced suffering. We have no right to ask when sorrows come, “Why this happens to me?”, unless we ask the same question for every moment of happiness that comes our way. When God puts a tear in your eye, it’s because He wants to put rainbow in your heart.

                A heart truly in love never loses hope but always believe in the promise of love. No matter how long the time and distance. Never say goodbye when you still want to try. Never give up when you still feel you can take it. Never say you don’t love the person anymore when you could not let go. True love doesn’t have a happy ending, that’s because true love doesn’t have an ending.

                                             

 

What can I say about a girl I loved since I was ten..... that I love the way she laughs at me when I commit mistakes, the way she fusses over silly things and even the way she cries over some sad silly late night show? Somehow, I wished I could have told her that I love her but now there's no hope in doing so. For now, it's rather too late- too late for me to do so.


She was my best friend and I have known her since we were small. She knew all my secrets, which reveals my feelings for her, that I love her not only because she's pretty and smart but also the way she laughs at everything and the way she sees life and love.


I could still remember the first time we met; I was five years old then. It was one windy afternoon having no one to play with except for my best friend, Troy. He and his family just moved out to transfer at a neighboring state because his father got promoted. And so I climbed up our tree house, I saw a moving truck coming down the street. I watched it approaching and noticed a family station wagon following it. It stopped in front of the house and out came a family. I was about to glance away when out came the loveliest girl I've seen. She was four years old that time but then even at an early age she was a beauty. She had long curly hair, which reached almost to her waist. She had fair complexion and eyes which could make a man lose his heart into them. I continued to watch her when suddenly she looked up and saw me watching them in the tree house window. I was about to duck when she smiled and waved her hand. I waved back then watched in amazement as I saw her running towards the tree house. So I went to the edge of the ladder and said, "Would you like to come up?" she answered, "May I?" So I help her climb up and when she reached the top she then turned to me and said, "By the way, my name's Sam, what's yours?" I answered, “My name is Christopher but then you can call me Chris." She smiled and said, “Well I like your name. Hey your tree house's neat!" then I replied, “Thanks! Troy and I made this. This used to be our hide out. We used to goof around, play ball and go biking together. He was my best friend and I kind of miss him you know." She smiled and said "I'm here now, we could do things you do with troy and I could be your new best friend too. I never had a boy for a friend before so it could be exciting to have one. I could learn how to play ball and I have my bicycle so we could go biking together. Now how does that sound to you?" I smiled and said, "Well that sounds good enough." Then she held her hand and said, "It's a deal then!" So that's how it started.


So we became best friends and it was kind of strange at first for she was a girl and there are things which I was little bit hesitant to indulge her like catching frogs, swimming in the lake and climbing trees, but then she tried and did everything just to please me. There was even a time when she fell off the bike trying to catch up with me in a race we had and I was the one who bandaged her scraped knee. I could still remember the time when she hit the window of our neighbor when we were playing baseball and it was I who talked to Mr. Chambers and promised to pay for the damage, which meant having to loose a week’s allowance. I remembered the time when I fell off the tree when I tried to rescue a little kitten because Sam was near to tears when she saw the helpless kitten trapped in a branch. I even fought with the tough guy when they teased Sam and made her cry and I ended up having a black eye and a bruised cheek. I remember Sam crying as she placed an ice bag over the damaged eye and later gave it a get-well kiss. I did everything to please her and gave everything her little heart desires.


The lake was our favorite hang out. We had our Saturday swim routine. We would pack food and later eat them under the big oak tree. There was a special branch in which the two of us could sit together and tell each other's dreams. She dreams of being a Ballerina and she knows my dream of becoming a doctor. She never laughs at my dreams and pursuits even if they were quite impossible. It made me like her even more.


As years went by, I noticed that my feelings towards her were slowly changing. Somehow, I thought it was just a simple crush case. But when I started thinking about her at night, dreaming of her and having the feeling of wanting to be with her all the time, I thought it was something different, something that made me feel strange, but then it was exhilarating feeling. It made me feel so alive. Whenever our hands touch, I could feel the tingling sensation in my spine. Once, when we were at the lake having our Saturday swim routine and as I carried her towards the water edge, I had the feeling of not wanting to let go. I just wanted that moment to continue hoping it would never end. I then realized I was slowly falling in love with my best friend.


Many times I tried to deny the feeling for I was scared to imagine what would happen if ever I'd try to tell her how I feel about her. I was scared because she might think that I'm taking advantage of her and our friendship. I was afraid of losing her so I just kept my feeling hidden.


We reached the age of fifteen and I noticed that Sam grew lovelier each day. How my heart aches wherever I see boys glance her way. I want to punch their noses as I watch them talking to her giving compliments, flowers and chocolates. There were times when I watch her at a distance mixed feelings of anger and hurt because it hurts so much to know that there were so many things I wanted to tell her but then I could not do so. There were so many presents which I long to give her but then I could not for she might see me only as a friend. I was also scared of letting her know how I feel about her as much as losing her.


Then one day, I just learned from a friend that she already had a boyfriend. At first, I tried to convince myself that it was just a rumor. Her boyfriend was Mark, a popular senior, who was the heartthrob of the campus. She, being the cheerleader was close to the basketball team which Mark was the captain. When I saw them walking together at the parking lot that afternoon, I watched her with my heart slowly breaking into pieces. I saw her wave at me but I just pretended not to see her for I was scared that she might see in my eyes the pain I'm feeling inside because of seeing her with another guy.


Those days that followed where the saddest days of my life. How my heart aches when I see her walk by me with him at her side. every time we meet in hallways and I see him around her, there's a feeling inside me that makes me want to grab her away from him. How it hurts to see the girl I long possess was now owned by somebody else. That special smile I long for her to cast on me was now casted on him as she passes by me she doesn’t know that I whisper the words "God how I love you."


Then one faithful day they broke up. She came too me that evening crying on my shoulder. They had a big fight and it ended up to their break up. Mixed feelings were scaring me inside. I was happy because she was free and maybe I would have the chance of telling her my true feelings for her but then I was feeling so bad because she is crying her heart out just for him. At that time, I was not quite sure of what I wanted to do.


So we found ourselves doing what we did in old days with our Saturday swim routine, spending time in our tree house. We still enjoyed doing childish pranks for we still are both young at heart.


So many chances I had for me to confess my feelings for her but still I couldn't bring myself to her for I was scared of losing her once more. I once lost her, now I could not bear of losing her again by telling her I love her. So I just kept my feelings even if it was bursting to be expressed from my aching heart.


It was a week from our JS Prom, we were seated at the branch of an oak tree drying ourselves after our afternoon swim when she said, "I was wondering Chris if you would like to be my partner?" It just got out of my wits for it was like a dream I never thought would happen. It took me awhile to answer her, "I thought there are so many boys who would die for you to be their partner?" So she turned away and quietly said, "Well I just thought I would like to spend that night with my best friend." Then she continued in a whisper I could barely hear, "Don't you want to die just like them to be my partner Chris?" I was too stunned to speak for it came close for me to blurt my feelings for her. We we're silent for a while until I finally whispered, "I would be happy to be your partner Sam." The she smiled and suddenly kissed my cheek. I could hardly contain the joy I felt that time. I saw her turned red and bowed her head. Suddenly she stood up and run towards the water saying, "Last one to reach the water treats to sundae fudge!" I ran slowed up so that I would lose which meant having to have her with me for another three hours or more.


Our Prom night came. I bought a new tuxedo and poured almost the entire bottle of perfume. I went to fetch Sam. Sam's mother greeted me and I went to sit in the living room waiting for her to come down. I was talking to her father when I heard her say, "How do I look?" I look up and saw her lovelier than ever in a strapless white dress with her hair flowing around her face. I stood up and opened my mouth but found out I could not find my voice. Then I got her hand shakily fastened the corsage around her wrist and whispered, "To the loveliest girl in the whole world." She then asked, “Is that true?" I nodded and she smiled and I smiled back then I turned to open the door for her.


When we arrived at the gymnasium we hardly recognized our classmates. Gone were the jeans and T-shirts. They were replaced with tuxedos and gowns. Then I held out her hand bowed and said," Would you give me the honor of your first dance?" She laughed and curtseyed. Then I led her to the dance floor.


It was like a dream coming true, a moment of enchantment. I was there dancing with the only girl I ever loved. She was smiling up to me, as we were slowly moving in a smooth gliding motion. I found myself lost as I stared down to her sparkling eyes. The curls of her long hair were like waves enhancing her beautiful face. There were so many things I wanted to tell her that moment. I wanted to tell that she was the most beautiful girl that night. I wanted to tell her that she would always be the beacon of light in my darkness, but what I wanted to tell her the most was that I love her. I drew up all my courage and bent to whisper it in her ear but suddenly the music stopped and the magic was gone. I came close to telling her, but still haven't done it.


We walked towards the table and found ourselves surrounded by friends. I asked her if she wanted a drink, she nodded and so I went to get one. It took me a long time to get one and when I returned to our table, she was gone. I asked her friend, Katie, where she was but she told me that she doesn't know. So I went and search for her.


As I was searching for her, I reached the garden. There I saw two silhouette figures outlined by the moon's silvery light. They were so close to each other. I could never describe the feeling I had when I recognized the white dress Sam was wearing that night. I just turned and left the gymnasium. Since that night, I avoided her. Many times she tried talking to me but I never gave her the chance to do so. I was afraid to hear her say that she loves Mark and not me. I would rather have left in ignorance of her true feelings for me than to hear from those dreaded words and feel my hope crush and my heart break. I didn't return her calls. I would not see her if she comes into our house. In the hallways, as she approaches I would go to another direction. It also hurts to do those things but then I thought that was the best way to forget her. Those months were tormenting but still I kept my pride.


The day of our graduation came. I was planning to take up medicine at a neighboring state and was to move out the next day. As the program ended, she approached me and handed me a rose. As she stared at me. There was something in her eyes I couldn't describe. There was sadness in them and when she smiled it wasn't the same smile she had. I wanted to hug her at that moment, tell her that I love her but then she turned and walked away from me.


So I moved out the next day as I planned. Luckily, I was accepted at the university. I concentrated with my studies but still I think of her at night. I was always wondering if she thinks of me too. I tried hard not to think of her but still I could not stop myself from loving her. Each achievement I have was done for her. I thought that if I will be successful one day, I would be able to tell her that I love her and by that time, I'm worthy of having her.


It was a year after our graduation when I decided to return home and see her again. I thought a year is too much for me not to see her and during the past year I felt like a person lost in the desert and only the sight of her could quench the thirst I have inside. As I got off the plane, I went home directly, desperate to get to her house desperate to see her, to hug her. Then I would tell her that I missed her and that I have loved her for a long time. This time I am determined to let her know my true feelings for her and I could not contain anymore the love I have for her.


I reached their house; I saw her older sister and I approached her. I smiled at her but I noticed she didn't smile back. I was confused for she used to be a cheerful lasy just like my dear Sam. I then asked," Hi Jen! I guess you're surprised why I'm here. Well I just want to visit you and I was also hoping to see Sam. I kind of miss her you know. Ummm.........bby the way have you seen her?" All I saw was sadness in her eyes as she replied quietly "Come follow me."


I was confused with the way she's acting but still I followed her. As we were walking, I was trying to indulge her in a conversation but just answered my questioned briefly. Then I realized that she was leading me to the direction of the lake. It was still the same as I left it, with the same oak tree Sam and I used to climb up. I smiled upon remembering the kiss Sam gave me when I agreed to be her partner. It's been one of the happiest days in my life and I realized that I missed Sam more than I thought. The Jen stopped walking and pointed to the tree. She then whispered, "There's Sam."


I looked at where she was pointing and saw a newly dug tomb with the name of the girl I ever loved. I could not believe at what I saw and desperately tried convincing myself that this is all just a nightmare and I would soon wake up.


I stared at Jenny in disbelief with her eyes searching for explanations and slowly started saying," It has been a week since she died. She died of Leukemia, but even though she was sick, she never stopped thinking about you. It was even your name she uttered before she died. She asked us to bury her here for she always regards this place as a place of LOVE. She said that this is where she had spent the happiest days and that was when she was with you. By the way, she also asked me to give you this." She handed me a parcel and with that she left.


I slowly opened the parcel and saw that it contained the dried orchid from the corsage I gave her for our prom. Then at the bottom I saw a letter. It was dated last month. I opened it with shaking hands and started reading........



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I know by this time you read this letter I'm gone. I just want to tell you that I feel very lucky and thankful to God that I had a friend like you. I would also like you to know that I had left something inside, something I kept from you all these years. I love you Chris, not in a friendly way but as one who would feel like spending the rest of my life with. I have always loved you even from the start. I guess it just bloomed each day that's why the happiest days of my life was when you were by my side. You just don't know how I dreamed of you at night and wake up in the morning and dream no more for you are with me. When you are away, I can't stop crying because I'm afraid to think that you are with another girl. I just can't bear to see you with another girl. I just want you all to myself. I may sound selfish but that's how I feel. Each time you held me close to you was like a dream coming true for to be close to you and feel your heart beating next to mine was heaven. So many things I did so that you will learn to love me but I NEVER saw a hint. I did everything to please you because I love you so much that I even tried to full myself that you're in love with me too. So many nights I've cried when I think of myself unloved by you. Well you might think that what I'm saying are lies but, I tell you, my heart speaks the truth for I cannot bear telling a lie to the one I love.


I know you might be thinking of Mark but I just did that to make you jealous, to make you see me as a young woman, capable of loving and not as the little girl you used to play with. Sometimes I imagined that you were jealous and fooled myself that it was a sign that you feel something for me too. When Mark and I broke up and I came crying, I just did that to know how you would react and with that I'll know that you love me too. But I failed for you didn't give me any clue. When our prom night came, you just don't know how happy I was when you handed me the corsage and saying that I was the loveliest girl in the whole world. While we were dancing, I wanted so desperately to hear you say that you love me too but you NEVER did. When Mark came and pleaded me to give him a second chance, I was scared that you might see us talking. I didn't want you to get the wrong impression so I told him we would talk in the garden. There I explained to him that it's you whom I really love. What happened next was that I found you missing and later learned that you were searching for me, I just concluded that you saw us together. The next day, I tried to explain but then you never gave me a chance to do so. You continuously avoided me and never knew how much pain I've experienced that time. I felt the world crushing on me. In our Graduation day, when I approached you, I wanted to tell you how much I love you but I decided that I just couldn't do it. I could not bear to hear that all you feel for me is just brotherly hand of love. For I want you to love me as a woman and not as a girl or playmate. So I just turned away and left.


Now that saying I LOVE YOU might be too late, still I want you to know that I will always love you and my heart has always been and will be yours alone.


P.S.
Think of me sometimes.... and always remember that loving you was the best thing that ever happened in my life.



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I felt my tears falling as I folded the letter. I wanted to shout out to let her know that I love her, if not as much, but more than she did for me. I love her more than anything in this world. I knelt touching the soil of her grave and rain started to fall. I continued crying softly and whispered, "Oh God, send my love to heaven."